To write a good story opening
We looked together at a painting of Neptune and some web pictures of underwater kingdoms.
We discussed how to open a story:- grabbing the reader's interest so that they want to read on
To describe a setting - use of exciting vocabulary
The next day we discussed underwater settings and how the children could use their senses to help descriptions.
To develop a character
The following day we decided which of the characters- Neptune, a diver, a mermaid or a merman ,we should develop. We needed to think about their appearance and their personality.
Writing a good story opening
As I dived backwards into the murky water I got caught in some seaweed.Then a sudden thought struck me" What if I was going to be late for tea at Neptune's Kingdom? He would be very angry with me". I felt very very whoozey and started to get a headache. I checked my oxygen tank and to my horror it was very low. I struggled free and swam quickly to Neptune's Kingdom. What if I was too late.............. Alistair
As I dived deeper underwater I found myself whizzing around on a dolphin's back. I flew into a dark black mysterious hole, then suddenly I saw the most spectacular kingdom. I quickly checked my oxygen tank but it was dangerously low so I took it off and to my absolute amazement I could breathe normally without it! Finally I don't know if it was my imagination, but I heard this strong booming big voice. Who in the world was it.....................? Daniel H.
Describing a story setting
....... I checked my oxygen tank........it was empty! How was I still breathing normally? I looked in front of me and I was amazed because there in front of me was ......rough beautiful coral with wavy seaweed blowing in the calm waves. Round pebbles lay on the ground during their soft slumber. Mermen were racing around in the calm ocean. Little figures were swimming gently across the blue ocean floor.Mermaids were brushing their long golden hair with gentle fingers. I could hear mermen laughing strangely along with the dolphins.
Then all went silent when everyone noticed us. One of the mermaids reached out to try and touch me and she did. With a whoosh everyone quickly swam away. What now..........?
Pippa
Developing a portrait of a character
All was silent as I swam towards a glimmer of gold. I tried to take it but as I pulled I had a sudden shock as a musclular man staggered out of a black cave." I, Neptune, am king of this place." boomed a loud voice. There was a lovely diamond on his golden crown which was actually what I had been pulling.
"What are you looking for in Neptune's Kingdom? I am Neptune and this is my kingdom!" His
face was very tanned, old and wrinkly. He was so very very tall that it hurt my neck to look up at him. He seemed to like gold a lot because he had a golden necklace and golden hair as well as his crown.
Finally" Come in for dinner" boomed Neptune. So we went in to a very dark cave. The next question is what's for dinner..........? Pippa